If I had one super power...

December 2022

"The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot."

Michael Altshuler

If I had one super power, it would be to make time stand still.

I’d love to say that this was so that I could be truly present in life's most precious moments. Whilst that would be a great by-product of said super power, my wish is a little different. I would like to make time stand still not for me, but for everyone else. This would give me the opportunity to catch up. Or better still, get one step ahead.

I pride myself on being very organised and in general, have the sense that I am on top of things. But I always find this time of year particularly challenging.

Between the endless work deadlines, social obligations, gift buying and wrapping, tree decorating, festive school events, donation and volunteering requests and constant stream of sickness from kids and adults alike (which mean you can never plan anything with any certainty), life is full-on.

I take solace from the fact I’m not alone.

The reality is that 4 out of 5 adults report feeling they have too much to do and not enough time (even outside of the festive period).

How often do you find yourself starting a message with: "Sorry for the slow response, I’ve just been really busy…"?

And, what's your standard reply when someone asks how you are? I'd be surprised if the word busy doesn't feature in there somewhere.

“Busyness”  has become the norm and a perfectly accepted state of being. In fact, I read recently that the term "busy-bragging" has been coined to describe our perceptions of status (or own and others') based on our busyness – it has acquired aspirational status!

Sadly, my super power of "stopping time" is never going to happen. So, I’ve resorted to reading an array of popular time management and productivity books.

I've also experimented with various life hacks to shave seconds off routine chores and activities. My biggest takeway from all of this, quite frustratingly, is that the more productive or efficient I become…the more there is to do. How unfair!

American Anthropologist Edward T Hall articulates it perfectly for me:

“Time feels like an unstoppable conveyor belt, bringing us new tasks as fast as we can dispatch the old ones; and becoming ‘more productive’ just seems to cause the belt to speed up. Or else, eventually, to break down”.

(in Oliver Burkeman's "Four Thousand Weeks" 2022)

Yes – that’s it! My life is a conveyor belt of tasks and activities all requiring my attention. How do I make it stop or even just slow down a little?

The truth is I can't, for we cannot manage time – we can only manage ourselves within time.

Time is one of our most valuable commodities and we are gifted a new allocation of it every day. Accepting that I will always be busy and the to do list will never be done, I’ve shifted my quest not to find more time but to be more intentional about how I spend my time.

How can I ensure that I’m doing something meaningful, something that gives me a deep sense of satisfaction each day? I've experimented with a few exercises to support me with this endeavour and below share a combination of two of my favourites - the Mini Life Audit and If/Then Sequence Statements.

Mini Life Audit (15 mins)

I came across this simple exercise at a Coaching Convention led by the Master Certified Coach Ruth Kudzi. This is a great way to get clarity on what brings you most joy in your life and start thinking about how you get more of this into your life.

1. Draw and label three columns: Love; Don’t mind; Dislike.

2. Thinking about your life (you can also do this focussing solely on your job/business), list all the things that you love, all the things you don’t mind and all the things you dislike in the relevant column. Don’t edit yourself, write what comes to mind without fear of judgement. Afterall, no one else need see this.

3. Looking at each column, estimate how much time you currently spend in each, ensuring the total adds up to 100%.

4. Ask yourself: What actions do I need to take so that in 1 months’ time I can be doing more of what I love?

This exercise alone might provide you with some clear actions. Of course, in reality, there will always be some things that we dislike that we have to do. The focus here is on the steps you can make to shift the balance more in favour of the things you love. Which brings me nicely to my next point...

When we try to change how we spend our time, we often neglect the reality that this means either a. we have to decrease the time we spend on something else or b. we have to work longer hours to fit another activity into our day. Option b is rarely preferable nor is it sustainable, so a more useful skill to perfect is how to make ‘time trade-offs’.  

If/Then Sequence Statements (5-10 mins)

One approach to help you make time trade-offs (which Helen Tupper and Sarah Ellis share in their 2022 bestseller 'You Coach You') is if/then sequence statements:

“Our time trade-offs always involve choices and consequences and if/then statements help you to work out what these might be, for both you and other people, so you can identify what actions you need to take. There is no exact number of if/then sequence statements you need to work through: we would suggest you keep going until you’ve identified which action you are going to take next.”

(Tupper and Ellis 2022)

How can this help me?

Using these exercises with my clients has helped them clarify what matters most to them; recognise and exercise their ability to choose to put these things first and; identify and commit to the practical steps to make this happen.

I invite you to experiment with them too, either as stand alone exercises or combined as I have here. You don't have to be experiencing the same time-poor feelings I have described to get their benefit. They can open up your thinking and provide some clarity and sense of direction whatever your current situation.

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